Skip to main content

You're Fat, You're Ugly, And You Have No Friends

You Are Fat


By that I really mean your blog. You have gorged on so many scripts and widgets that you can't even button the pants. And that belly button ring of a theme you have, while it might look good on some, on you, bottom line, it is still just stuck through a nasty bulging belly. That tattoo you thought was sexy has now grown to 10 times it's normal size like one of these little kid toys you stick in a bucket of water. Go on a diet already. Lose a couple scripts, drop a few widgets, and your blog won't be lying on the couch after three visitors wheezing and sweating profusely from over exertion.

You Are Ugly


Of course I'm not insulting you personally. Once again I am referencing your blog. Well isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder? Yep and I am beholding your ugly -ss blog. That is not to say you don't think mine is just as homely. I like to think of my blog as if it were a supermodel. Hot as hell, but she has cellulite, wrinkles, a flat -ss, flat chest, no hips, or any number of imperfections like the rest. Nobody is perfect and no blog is perfect either. Don't despair about your blog though because even Rosie O'Donnel gets a girl every once in a while. Ummm...sorry I just gagged... Remember get opinions of other bloggers and your readers about your blog appearance. Solicit honest critique and advice.

You Have No Friends


How would I know right? Well your blog stats are there for all to see. And they tell me you have no friends. No one likes you just deal with it. You are a loser baby. Wait! don't euthanize your blog just yet. Blogging HeyZeus loves you and that at least counts for something.

Okay well after all of that the point is for all of us to take a look at our blog from a readers perspective. Solicit advice and suggestions from your readers about page layout, ad placement, color scheme, load time and more. You as the blog owner have the final say and you obviously have to be happy with the product. Ad placement though should ultimately be driven by the performance of the ad. You can't take into consideration every suggestion and some folks will never be happy anyway. Blogs evolve over time and you should alway be looking for ways to make yours better. Think about it, even blogs like John Chow.com and ProBlogger have had some pretty major overhauls as of late. Don't be afraid of taking an honest look in the mirror. What are some things you have done to improve your blog either drastically or incrementaly?

later all and have a profitable and productive blogging day

Get more profitable and productive information by subscribing to my FEED and my newsletter! or clicking the links below to bookmark my site, or add me to your favorites.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What the F Does the C Stand 4

I know all of you have been waiting with baited breathe for my first contest. Well we are taking the plunge together. Here is the chance for all of you to win something for doing almost nothing. Hopefully you won't think this Contest is full of Sh-t . For many many years I have had the "nickname," I guess you could call it, of Cman. Here lately, probably due in part to #10 in my 10 Reasons John Chow Probably Thinks This Blog Is About Him article, I have been getting asked more and more what the C in Cman stands for. Herein lays the focus of this contest. For the person who can guess what the C in Cman stands for I will give them $100. If multiple people guess correctly the winner will be chosen by random drawing from among the correct entries. If no one guesses correctly I will randomly pick from all entries and will award the winner of the losers $20. Clarification: 1. In the words of Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez, "There can be only One." Winner that is. E
35 comments
Read more

Give Viral Marketing A Chance !

==== Copy and Paste below this line ==== Instructions: Important Update - Please read here ! 1.) Copy and paste (for those of you using blogger post in the compose tab, not the edit html tab, of your post editor) the matrix of “ViralTags” below courtesy of Founders Cafe ( to support Jimmy’s quest of launching his own Internet Startup with a shoestring budget, please consider subscribing to his Full RSS Feed to see his triumphs and struggles in real time ). 2.) Substitute the Host Tag and one of the “Viral Tags” in the matrix with your anchor text of choice with your blog’s URL. Please keep anchor text to a max of 3 words to keep the matrix size manageable. 3.) When you get a ping back from someone that has your link in one of their “Viral Tags”, practice good karma by copying his/her Host Tag’s anchor text (automatically the associated link will also be copied) and paste it over one of your “Viral Tags” below. 4.) Encourage and invite your readers to do the same and soon this
31 comments
Read more

The Stripping Aristologist Contest Winner

Well as you can see from the above screen capture the winning entry is #5. Heading over to the contest post and looking through the comments and the trackbacks I found that Anton of Link Right Contests was entry #5 with his guess of Julia Child. The actual answer was incorrect so he won the $50 but not the bonus prize. I was a bit generous to 2 entries that commented and entered but did not give the link. I had to search their blog to find the answer. There were several that commented and gave a link to their blog but I could not find a post about the contest or any links back to this blog. Anywho....Congrats to Anton and thank you all so much for reading and taking the time to interact with this blog and really make it what it is. Oh and Anton you might want to consider some kind of Contact Me link for your blog. Other than trackback to your post and a comment I have no way to contact you regarding your winning entry. Having a Contact Me is one of the first things any blogger should
9 comments
Read more