Skip to main content

Feed Failure in 5 Easy Steps



Are you tired of having a successful blog with a large readership? Is the pressure of having a large subscriber base getting you down. Do you want to end the headaches caused by the incessant hunger of subscribers for new food from your feed? Take five of these and comment in the morning.

Step 1
Remove all Feed Subscription buttons from your site. If you want to know what some look like check the end of this post. If you see anything remotely like this or anything that says subscribe, bookmark, fave, or add this, REMOVE THEM IMMEDIATELY. You do not want people to be able to easily subscribe to your feed. By removing all of these buttons most people just won't bother.

Step 2
Use one or two word non-descriptive titles for all of your posts. Headlines like Post 1, Title, or Article are surefire ways to not grab a persons attention. With headlines like this your feed is sure to go unnoticed in the subscribers reader.

Step 3
Post articles on your blog only once every month or so. This infrequent posting is a great way to ensure "feed blindness" or in extreme cases "feed deletion" or even "feed death"

Step 4
Cram your feed full of In-Your-Face feedvertising. Your readers will just love having to wade through, climb over, and marco-polo their way around ads to find your content. This little game of hide-and-seek will be sure to induce feelings of annoyance and frustration among your subscribers.

Step 5
If steps 1-4 fail, or would that be succeed, then it is time for drastic measures. You must now ignore step 3 and begin to post at least 10 - 15 totally useless posts a day preferably full of useless gibberish that appears to be written by those monkeys we've all heard about pounding away in a sweatshop somewhere trying desperately to compose the complete works of Shakespeare, or articles full of run-on sentences.

If for some reason these 5 steps don't work for you, my friend, then you must have been beaten with a lucky stick at sometime in this or a past life and are just doomed to success for all eternity. If that is you then I wash my hands and am not to held be accountable for your success.

later all and have a profitable and productive blogging day

Get more profitable and productive information by subscribing to my newsletter! or clicking the links below to subscribe to my feed, bookmark my site, or add me to your favorites.

Add to Technorati FavoritesAddThis Social Bookmark ButtonAddThis Feed Button
Labels:

Comments

Lori aka A Cowboy's Wife said…
You're so funny. It's a good article....a clever way to keep your reader intrigued.
July 18, 2007 at 8:41 AM
roundouts said…
oh, I thought you were being serious!
good way to get your point accross.
July 19, 2007 at 12:31 AM
Proletariatof1 said…
I have been in a very sarcastic mood lately. Maybe I should get more sleep.
July 19, 2007 at 1:18 AM
Anonymous said…
I laughed a lot there. :)
July 19, 2007 at 10:32 AM
Proletariatof1 said…
lucia thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.

Cman
July 19, 2007 at 3:35 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What the F Does the C Stand 4

I know all of you have been waiting with baited breathe for my first contest. Well we are taking the plunge together. Here is the chance for all of you to win something for doing almost nothing. Hopefully you won't think this Contest is full of Sh-t . For many many years I have had the "nickname," I guess you could call it, of Cman. Here lately, probably due in part to #10 in my 10 Reasons John Chow Probably Thinks This Blog Is About Him article, I have been getting asked more and more what the C in Cman stands for. Herein lays the focus of this contest. For the person who can guess what the C in Cman stands for I will give them $100. If multiple people guess correctly the winner will be chosen by random drawing from among the correct entries. If no one guesses correctly I will randomly pick from all entries and will award the winner of the losers $20. Clarification: 1. In the words of Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez, "There can be only One." Winner that is. E...
35 comments
Read more

Give Viral Marketing A Chance !

==== Copy and Paste below this line ==== Instructions: Important Update - Please read here ! 1.) Copy and paste (for those of you using blogger post in the compose tab, not the edit html tab, of your post editor) the matrix of “ViralTags” below courtesy of Founders Cafe ( to support Jimmy’s quest of launching his own Internet Startup with a shoestring budget, please consider subscribing to his Full RSS Feed to see his triumphs and struggles in real time ). 2.) Substitute the Host Tag and one of the “Viral Tags” in the matrix with your anchor text of choice with your blog’s URL. Please keep anchor text to a max of 3 words to keep the matrix size manageable. 3.) When you get a ping back from someone that has your link in one of their “Viral Tags”, practice good karma by copying his/her Host Tag’s anchor text (automatically the associated link will also be copied) and paste it over one of your “Viral Tags” below. 4.) Encourage and invite your readers to do the same and soon this ...
31 comments
Read more

The Stripping Aristologist Contest Winner

Well as you can see from the above screen capture the winning entry is #5. Heading over to the contest post and looking through the comments and the trackbacks I found that Anton of Link Right Contests was entry #5 with his guess of Julia Child. The actual answer was incorrect so he won the $50 but not the bonus prize. I was a bit generous to 2 entries that commented and entered but did not give the link. I had to search their blog to find the answer. There were several that commented and gave a link to their blog but I could not find a post about the contest or any links back to this blog. Anywho....Congrats to Anton and thank you all so much for reading and taking the time to interact with this blog and really make it what it is. Oh and Anton you might want to consider some kind of Contact Me link for your blog. Other than trackback to your post and a comment I have no way to contact you regarding your winning entry. Having a Contact Me is one of the first things any blogger should ...
9 comments
Read more